"Plain Jane" is Just Plain Offensive

I had the horrible experience of watching a bit of the CW's new summertime makeover show "Plain Jane" the other night.

OK. So you're thinking, what business do I have watching a crappy TV show on the CW anyway? Well, between feeding and caring for three kids, grading papers, doing laundry, taking out the trash and reading Moby Dick, um, sometimes, I just need some mindless entertainment. Plus, I like to keep it real...I like to gauge the pulse of pop culture so I have something easily accessible to talk to my classes about. (I can't always be quoting Virginia Woolf and James Joyce, right?)

Anyway, as to be expected, the show follows the usual "makeover" show format. The producers nab some sweet, soft-spoken woman, and have her go through a series of traumatic events in the hopes of "making her over," so that she can reveal her hidden desire for a male friend she went to college with. Besides being completely sexist, this show goes beyond the normal cliches and treads well into the territory of abuse, and well, being just plain wrong.

The first "Jane"/victim, had long hair and a huge smile. She was well-spoken, thoughtful, and trim. This "plain Jane's main problem, according to host Louise Roe, was essentially that "Jane" wasn't dressing slutty enough. Really. That was it.

In order to teach said "Jane" to be more sexual, "Jane" visits a local burlesque establishment in order to "empower herself." OK. Since when did putting on a boa and fishnet stockings become empowering? Jane does a little dance for the host and a burlesque expert to prove that she is OK with her sexuality but essentially objectifying herself not only to the host, but to the entire viewing audience.

If the striptease segment wasn't demeaning enough, "Jane's" next assignment is to go to a dog park and try to talk to random men. The catch? Jane has to wear an electro-shock device similar to one people train dogs with. Most sane individuals will agree that the electroshock collar is cruel enough to use on an animal...but on a human being? Could this woman possibly be more humiliated or objectified? (Well, she did sign up for the show....so??? Did she sign a waiver stating that she was OK with being humiliated and shocked?)

Finally, we come to the makeover moment du jour. The big reveal. Show host Louise and her cadre of cronies tackle Jane's "plain" looks with every trick they have. Armed with makeup, hairspray, creams, lotions and potions, the makeover team [supposedly] recreate "Jane" into a new and improved version of herself? So what was the big change? The big switch? The ultimate in taking poor ol' Jane from "not" to "hot?"

They changed her hair color from light brown to dark brown. Wow. An amazing transformation indeed.

The best part of the show is when "Jane," newly sexed up with her dark brown hair and lowcut dress reveals her feelings to her big crush. Whether scripted or spontaneous, her crush reveals---gasp---he had a crush on her all during college as well! Doesn't that essentially prove that the whole show is ludicrous and pointless? After all, if the crush liked "Jane" when she was "plain," why did she need to be made over at all?